I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Too much gin, very little bucket
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
