You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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