this beer tastes like vomit already
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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