Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
