win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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