I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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