We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
