and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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