Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
