haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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