And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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