Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
