I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
