I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
