If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
