Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
