My hand turned me down
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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