hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Green mimosas i think yes
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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