i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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