I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
