dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
