You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
