I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
