i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
