I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
