We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
