My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my being single is dangerous.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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