I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
