that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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