i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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