Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
