Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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