haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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