He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
