Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
