hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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