You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
