he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
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vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
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i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
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