I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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