Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
