what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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