why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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