So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
