Already got asked if we're dating
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
