I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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