my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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