Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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