Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
