i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
