i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
