My hand turned me down
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
