Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
