Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
