Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
