She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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