i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
