Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
