1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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